Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Pet peeve #1,056: When people say "no homo"

In the past year I have noticed people adding the words "No Homo" to sentences in a very nonchalant manner.

It seems as though this practice is really popular and might even be considered a trend. (This worries me) It's usage is comparable to the way Canadians use the word 'EH'...They are pretty much this:

1. "Look at that guy's haircut. It's pretty dope EH?"
2. "Look at that guy's haircut. It's pretty dope. No Homo"

See what I mean? OMG...what is happening in the world? This is NOT ok.

So I consult the Urban dictionary, as I often do when I hear "the kids" say something that I don't get. LOL. and this is what it says:

1. NO HOMO: said after something potentially gay was said. or stating that something is not gay even though it sounds that way.

"I feel like eating some salted homo."

"I'ma be all up in your homo."

"Paul and I had each other's back all the homo."

This second definition was my favourite:

2. NO HOMO: An addendum to a possibly homosexual-sounding statement. Working as a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, it allows the speaker to maintain his or her heterosexual reputation no matter how homosexual the previous or forthcoming statement.

"I'm coming out of the closet; I am gay, I have had gay sex numerous times, and I am moving to Massachusetts with my boyfriend to gave a gay marriage. No homo."

"No homo but i was just jacking off to some gay porn."

I remember the very first time someone said it to me. It was actually WRITTEN to me in a text message, so I KNOW I wasn't just hearing things. The person actually wrote: "Happy Valentines day...No lesbo" hahahaha I actually didn't get it and just thought that the person was probably homophobic and was torn between a) wanting to show me a kind gesture and b) not wanting me to mistake this gesture for some sort of romantic advance.

More and more I started noticing this "no homo" being said in regular conversations and in some rap songs. (Lil Wayne, Juelz Santana (Dipset))

The most recent example was a conversation between Lowe and a random dude in DC. The conversation went a little something like this:

Random dude: *points to his friend* "Ain't he quit a good lookin' fella? Do you think he's cute?"

Lowe: "Do YOU?"

Random dude: "I mean...that's my cousin. He's a good looking dude...No Homo"

In conclusion: Saying "No homo" is probably the gayest thing that I have ever heard. If you have to say "no homo" before or after a sentence then there is a good chance you have done other GAYish things prior to saying it. If you're worried that your friend is going to think you are GAY, then I'm pretty sure you're probably at least BI.

Seriously, the next time someone says it, I'm gonna snap. If you don't want me to punch you in the jejunem, don't say it around me. And kids...this is not cool no matter which rapper uses it. Just don't do it.